55.Read from "As. Bill Sees It”, pages 93, 108, 127, 189, and 243. Discuss and reflect on how taking time daily to set myself apart with God improves my conscious contact with Him and changes my life.
93 Atmosphere of Grace
Those of us who have come to make regular use of prayer would no more
do without it than we would refuse air, food, or sunshine. And for
the same reason. When we refuse air, light, or food, the body
suffers. And when we turn away from meditation and prayer, we
likewise deprive our minds, our emotions, and our intuitions of
vitally needed support.
As the body can fail its purpose for lack of nourishment, so can the
soul. We all need the light of God's reality, the nourishment of His
strenth, and the atmosphere of His grace. To an amazing extent the
facts of A.A. life confirm this ageless truth.
TWELVE AND TWELVE, PP. 97-98
108 Learn in Quiet
In 1941, a news clipping was called to our attention by a New York
member. In an obituary notice from a local paper, there appeared
these words: "God grant us the serenity to accept the things we
cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the
wisdom to know the difference."
Never had we seen so much A.A. in so few words. With amazing speed
the Serenity Prayer came into general use.
<< << << >> >> >>
In meditation, debate has no place. We rest quietly with the thoughts
or prayers of spiritually centered people who understand, so that we
may experience and learn. This is the state of being that so often
discovers and deepens a conscious contact with God.
1. A.A. COMES OF AGE, P. 196
2. TWELVE AND TWELVE, PP. 100-101
127 Persistence in Prayer
We often tend to slight serious meditation and prayer as something
not really necessary. To be sure, we feel it is something that might
help us to meet an occasional emergency, but at first many of us are
apt to regard it as a somewhat mysteriousskill of clergymen, from
which we may hope to get a secondhand benefit.
<< << << >> >> >>
In A.A. we have found that the actual good results of prayer are
beyond question. They are matters of knowledge and experience. All
those who have persisted have found strength not ordinarily their
own. They have found wisdom beyond their usual capability. And they
have increasingly found a peace of mind which can stand firm in the
face of difficult circumstances.
TWELVE AND TWELVE
1. P. 96
2. P. 104
189 Experimenters
We agnostics liked A.A. all right, and were quick to say that it had
done miracles. But we recoiled from meditation and prayer as
obstinately as the scientist who refused to perform a certain
experiment lest it prove his pet theory wrong.
When we finally did experiment, and unexpected results followed, we
felt different; in fact, we knew different; and so we were sold on
meditation and prayer. And that, we have found, can happen to anybody
who tries. It has been well said that "Almost theonly scoffers at
prayer are those who never tried it enough."
TWELVE AND TWELVE, P. 97
243 Morning Thoughts
On awakening, let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We ask
God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced
from self-pity and from dishonest or self-seeking motives. Free from
these, we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for God
gave us brains to use. Our thought-life will be on a higher plane
when our thinking begins to be cleared of wrong motives.
If we determine which of two courses to take, we ask God for
inspiration, an intuitive thought, or a decision. Then we relax and
take it easy, and we are often surprised how the right answers come
after we have tried this for a while.
We usually conclude our meditation with a prayer that we be shown all
through the day what our next step is to be, asking especially for
freedom from damaging self-will.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, PP. 86, 87
I'm also reminded of this by Franz Kafka:
You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.
I think the step 11 questions will be good ones - this is one gift of 12-step that I have not failed to accept. My morning ritual is one of my most strongly-observed "suggested things".
The value of taking a pause is the opportunity to reframe my life. Otherwise I settle into a reality (that is not a reality) where my life is a small, cramped self-filled box - I'm contained by the internal ebb and flow of self-centered emotional upheaval and whatever drama is ongoing at work.
When I have a ritual to reframe and put my head in its place by meditating and praying then I give a chance for the vastness of my God and a sense of humility to take root in my larger consciousness - and somehow seep by osmosis into the petty consciousness where I spend most of my time.
I had the good fortune to listen to Eckhart Tolle reading A New Earth - so much of his intuition about the ego fits perfectly with what I'm learning about myself and the power of meditation and prayer.
56. Read pages 85-89 in the “Big Book.” How has prayer and meditation helped you to be free of self-will run riot?
Prayer and meditation are not a direct form of control, but they're an exposure to a non-self-run universe that infuses me with humility (in the form of my joyfully dependent prayers to my higher power) and serenity (in the form of contact with the deep unconditional love and peace of God when I meditate).
Constant and daily exposure and a relationship something outside and larger and greater than my ego is slowly (and will take years) infusing my ego with a tiny echo of that tranquility. And its reassuring me that outside of my fragile ego I can trust God to be constant.
Prayer and meditation are not a direct form of control, but they're an exposure to a non-self-run universe that infuses me with humility (in the form of my joyfully dependent prayers to my higher power) and serenity (in the form of contact with the deep unconditional love and peace of God when I meditate).
Constant and daily exposure and a relationship something outside and larger and greater than my ego is slowly (and will take years) infusing my ego with a tiny echo of that tranquility. And its reassuring me that outside of my fragile ego I can trust God to be constant.
57. Read "As Bill Sees It," pages 33, 117, 101, and 331. Step Eleven is for mental
efficiency, for spiritual strength and for physical endurance. What does this mean to
you?
33 Foundation for Life
We discover that we receive guidance for our lives to just about the
extent that we stop making demands upon God to give it to us on order
and on our terms.
<< << << >> >> >>
In praying, we ask simply that throughout the day God place in us the
best understanding of His will that we can have for the day, and that
we be given the grace by which we may carry it out.
<< << << >> >> >>
There is a direct linkage among self-examination, meditation, and
prayer. Taken separately, these practices can bring much relief and
benefit. But when they are logically related and interwoven, the
result is an unshakable foundation for life.
TWELVE AND TWELVE
1. P. 104
2. P. 102
3. P. 98
117 The Sense of Belonging
Perhaps one of the greatest rewards of meditation and prayer is the
sense of belonging that comes to us. We no longer live in a
completely hostile world. We are no longer lost and frightened and
purposeless.
The moment we catch even a glimpse of God's will, the moment we begin
to see truth, justice, and love as the real and eternal things in
life, we are no longer deeply disturbed by all the seeming evidence
to the contrary that surrounds us in purely human affairs. We know
that God lovingly watches over us. We know that when we turn to Him,
all will be well with us, here and hereafter.
TWELVE AND TWELVE, P. 105
101 "The Spiritual Angle"
How often do we sit in A.A. meetings and hear the speaker declare,
"But I haven't yet got the spiritual angle." Prior to this statement,
he has described a miracle of transformation which has occurred in
him -- not only his release from alcohol, but a complete change in
his whole attitude toward life and the living of it.
It is apparent to everyone else present that he has received a great
gift, and that this gift is all out of proportion to anything that
may be expected from simple A.A. participation. So we in the audience
smile and say to ourselves, "Well, that guy is just reeking with the
spiritual angle -- except that he doesn't seem to know it yet!"
GRAPEVINE, JULY 1962
331 The Great Fact
We realize we know only a little. God will constantly disclose more
to you and to us. Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do
each day for the man who is still sick. The answers will come, if
your own house is in order.
But obviously you cannot transmit something you haven't got. See to
it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will
come to pass for you and countless others. This is the great fact for
us.
To the Newcomer:
Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to
Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give
freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in the
fellowship of the spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you
trudge the road of happy destiny.
May God bless you and keep you -- until then.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, P. 164
Mental efficiency, spiritual strength, and physical endurance.
OK so there is one person on the committee to write these questions that I just don't get. Whenever one of their questions comes up (and I can sort of sense them as we move through these -- I find that I really don't understand where they're coming from - their grasp of the spiritual universe is different to mine.)
The readings don't really address the question either to my mind.
If I play with it I'm taken back to my therapist's definition of the beginnings of self care: plenty of rest, going to the gym, and eating right. And my spiritual guru's statement that in order to hold spiritual energy, I needed to be physically fit.
I think at the end on this question I'm just led to the idea that for me to be the person I am meant to be on this planet - to use the gifts of my mind and body in the way they were intended, and not as tools for distraction, mortification, and indulgence, that I need my higher power. And that in the process of becoming more like my higher power - infusing myself with those qualities, that my mind, spirit, and body will return to health and higher purpose.
Even in my late 40's, moving toward health and growth is god's plan for me.
33 Foundation for Life
We discover that we receive guidance for our lives to just about the
extent that we stop making demands upon God to give it to us on order
and on our terms.
<< << << >> >> >>
In praying, we ask simply that throughout the day God place in us the
best understanding of His will that we can have for the day, and that
we be given the grace by which we may carry it out.
<< << << >> >> >>
There is a direct linkage among self-examination, meditation, and
prayer. Taken separately, these practices can bring much relief and
benefit. But when they are logically related and interwoven, the
result is an unshakable foundation for life.
TWELVE AND TWELVE
1. P. 104
2. P. 102
3. P. 98
117 The Sense of Belonging
Perhaps one of the greatest rewards of meditation and prayer is the
sense of belonging that comes to us. We no longer live in a
completely hostile world. We are no longer lost and frightened and
purposeless.
The moment we catch even a glimpse of God's will, the moment we begin
to see truth, justice, and love as the real and eternal things in
life, we are no longer deeply disturbed by all the seeming evidence
to the contrary that surrounds us in purely human affairs. We know
that God lovingly watches over us. We know that when we turn to Him,
all will be well with us, here and hereafter.
TWELVE AND TWELVE, P. 105
101 "The Spiritual Angle"
How often do we sit in A.A. meetings and hear the speaker declare,
"But I haven't yet got the spiritual angle." Prior to this statement,
he has described a miracle of transformation which has occurred in
him -- not only his release from alcohol, but a complete change in
his whole attitude toward life and the living of it.
It is apparent to everyone else present that he has received a great
gift, and that this gift is all out of proportion to anything that
may be expected from simple A.A. participation. So we in the audience
smile and say to ourselves, "Well, that guy is just reeking with the
spiritual angle -- except that he doesn't seem to know it yet!"
GRAPEVINE, JULY 1962
331 The Great Fact
We realize we know only a little. God will constantly disclose more
to you and to us. Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do
each day for the man who is still sick. The answers will come, if
your own house is in order.
But obviously you cannot transmit something you haven't got. See to
it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will
come to pass for you and countless others. This is the great fact for
us.
To the Newcomer:
Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to
Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give
freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in the
fellowship of the spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you
trudge the road of happy destiny.
May God bless you and keep you -- until then.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, P. 164
Mental efficiency, spiritual strength, and physical endurance.
OK so there is one person on the committee to write these questions that I just don't get. Whenever one of their questions comes up (and I can sort of sense them as we move through these -- I find that I really don't understand where they're coming from - their grasp of the spiritual universe is different to mine.)
The readings don't really address the question either to my mind.
If I play with it I'm taken back to my therapist's definition of the beginnings of self care: plenty of rest, going to the gym, and eating right. And my spiritual guru's statement that in order to hold spiritual energy, I needed to be physically fit.
I think at the end on this question I'm just led to the idea that for me to be the person I am meant to be on this planet - to use the gifts of my mind and body in the way they were intended, and not as tools for distraction, mortification, and indulgence, that I need my higher power. And that in the process of becoming more like my higher power - infusing myself with those qualities, that my mind, spirit, and body will return to health and higher purpose.
Even in my late 40's, moving toward health and growth is god's plan for me.
58. Read page 164 in the "Big Book.' Discuss and reflect on how to "See to it that your relationship with Him is right" and the importance of it for you today.
As I've said many times throughout my answers to these questions, my new SLAA-question inspired understanding of step 3 is that it is a path from self-driven ego to selfless god-nature. And that turning my will and my life over to God means that I have made a decision to dedicate my life to that path, and that although I will stray and stumble, I will keep returning to that path as long as I live.
In order to move along that path, I have to surrender, and surrender ego-structures I've clung to my whole life. As I make myself worthy of moving closer to God, and take each step along that path, that's keeping my relationship with God right. As I move forward on this path, I have to give up my defects that keep me back. They fall away from me, through forward progress toward God.
That's my understanding of the real work of my life.
59. Read "As Bill Sees It" pages 270 and 172. How do you apply the principle that your recovery depends upon God?
270 Honesty and Recovery
In taking an inventory, a member might consider questions such as:
How did my selfish pursuit of the sex relation damage other people
and me? What people were hurt, and how badly? Just how did I react at
the time? Did I burn with guilt? Or did I insist that I was the
pursued and not the pursuer, and thus absolve myself?
How have I reacted to frustration in sexual matters? When denied, did
I become vengeful or depressed? Did I take it out on other people? If
there was rejection or coldness at home, did I use this as a reason
for promiscuity?
<< << << >> >> >>
Let no alcoholic say he cannot recover unless he has his family back.
This just isn't so. His recovery is not dependent upon people. It is
dependent upon his relationship with God, however he may define Him.
1. TWELVE AND TWELVE, P. 50-51
2. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, PP. 99-100
172 This Matter of Honesty
"Only God can fully know what absolute honesty is. Therefore, each of
us has to conceive what this great ideal may be -- to the best of our
ability.
"Fallible as we all are, and will be in this life, it would be
presumption to suppose that we could ever really achieve absolute
honesty. The best way we can do is to strive for a better quality of
honesty.
"Sometimes we need to place love ahead of indiscriminate `factual
honesty'. We cannot, under the guise of `perfect honesty', cruelly
and unnecessarily hurt others. Always one must ask, `What is the best
and most loving thing I can do?'"
LETTER, 1966
Judeo-Christian notions of an external, paternalistic, controlling, santa claus higher power persist in 12-step. If you look closely Bill writes that our recovery depends on our relationship with God, not God.
Having a relationship with God is key to recovery - you might even say that it IS recovery. All I know about God is that it is outside my limited ego, but it is still part of me or within me. Its easily neglected or ignored. And that living life by a fairly precise code of conduct is necessary before I can access the love and serenity that I feel when I connect with "it". As I move from selfishness to selflessness, my defects quiet down.
That's all I know.
Judeo-Christian notions of an external, paternalistic, controlling, santa claus higher power persist in 12-step. If you look closely Bill writes that our recovery depends on our relationship with God, not God.
Having a relationship with God is key to recovery - you might even say that it IS recovery. All I know about God is that it is outside my limited ego, but it is still part of me or within me. Its easily neglected or ignored. And that living life by a fairly precise code of conduct is necessary before I can access the love and serenity that I feel when I connect with "it". As I move from selfishness to selflessness, my defects quiet down.
That's all I know.
60. Read pages 202 and 250 in "As Bill Sees It." Discuss the importance of spending daily quiet time alone with your higher power. How do you do this in your life on a daily basis?
202 The Hour of Decision
"Not all large decisions can be well made by simply listing the pros
and cons of a given situation, helpful and necessary as this process
is. We cannot always depend on what seems to us to be logical. When
there is doubt about our logic, we wait upon God and listen for the
voice of intuition. If, in meditation, that voice is persistent
enough, we may well gain sufficient confidence to act upon that,
rather than upon logic.
"If after an exercise of these two disciplines, we are still
uncertain, then we should ask for further guidance and, when
possible, defer important decisions for a time. By then, with more
knowledge of our situation, logic and intuition maywell agree upon a
right course.
"But if the decision must be now, let us not evade it through fear.
Right or wrong, we can always profit from the experience."
LETTER, 1966
250 Prayer Under Pressure
Whenever I find myself under acute tensions, I lengthen my daily
walks and slowly repeat our Serenity Prayer in rhythm to my steps and
breathing.
If I feel that my pain has in part been occasioned by others, I try
to repeat, "God grant me the serenity to love their best, and never
fear their worst." This benign healing process of repitition,
sometimes necessary to persist with for days, has seldom failed to
restore me to at least a workable emotional balance and perspective.
GRAPEVINE, MARCH 1962
The time I spend in the morning in prayer, contemplation, and meditation is key to the quality of my day. This is one of the most easily validated of the "suggested things" - I can utterly tell the difference when I've not taken that moment to center myself and reframe my ego and consciousness with my higher power.
Prayer helps me be humble and center myself in my desire to change. Meditation quiets my soul and enables contact with a deep sea of tranquility and love that I attribute to my higher power. These two things together, along with a fairly regular assessment of my state and reconnection if necessary.
61. Read page 264 in 'As Bill Sees It.' Discuss and reflect on the idea that we shall locate our trouble in our misunderstanding or neglect of Step Eleven, prayer, meditation and the guidance of God.
264 The Step That Keeps Us Growing
Sometimes, when friends tell us how well we are doing, we know better
inside. We know we aren't doing well enough. We still can't handle
life, as life is. There must be a serious flaw somewhere in our
spiritual practice and development.
What, then, is it?
The chances are better than even that we shall locate our trouble in
our misunderstanding or neglect of A.A.'s Step Eleven -- prayer,
meditation, and the guidance of God.
The other Steps can keep most of us sober and somehow functioning.
But Step Eleven can keep us growing, if we try hard and work at it
continually.
GRAPEVINE, JUNE 1958
Interesting. A lot of peopIe call 10, 11, and 12 the "maintenance steps" but I've always felt that they were the "growth" steps. Steps 1 - 9 were about accepting ourselves and the past and opening up to change. 10-12 are about the change and working the steps into the fabric of our lives.
I think my answer to the previous question unwittingly covers this one as well.
If we are on the beam - we are in contact with our higher power and being nourished and informed from that source. Our ego becomes a servant to our greater good, rather than the master. Our reality is that of giving and service and radiance, rather than consumption and avarice.
The model for me is that if I am full of God, and radiating God, then I am not empty and craving to fill myself or distract myself with compulsions or substances. If I keep myself fit to maintain that connection then I'm in good condition. But I can only stay fit for a day before I have to build the connection anew, and in a new way that isn't rote, but fresh, vital, meaningful, and alive. This is the way life wants to be led.
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