SLAA Step 6 Questions

1. Read pages 75-76, Chapter 6 in the ‘BIG BOOK’, Make a list of the character defects that you are ready to have God remove.

Pride - That I am better than anything or anyone. antidote: love others

Self-centeredness - That I think only of myself   think of others

Self-pity - That I didn't get something    accept

Selfishness - that my self-centeredness eclipses the worth of others   give to others

Greed - that i covet things    i shall not want

Jealousy - that I think others have it better than me    accept - what is wealth?

Gluttony - the weakness of avarice   - be full 

Sloth - laziness   be of service

Intolerance - forgive others

Arrogance - accept others

Impatience - live, be present

Lust - sexualised life - be present

Dishonesty - lying blocks you from god

2. Do you truly believe that your own willpower will not work with sex and love addiction?

I know this to be true.  Willpower would be fighting it.  Only god - and the quality of life that enables my spiritual connection with God, can remove the problem so I don't think or worry about it.

3. Has your obsession with sex and love/relationships vanished? If not - what steps can you take? If yes, Why? What can you do for the consistent removal of the obsession?

I no longer masturbate, but I'm still quite obsessive about sex.

I am taking SLAA and these steps seriously.  I need to make more outreach.  More service.

4. Step Six. Read from ‘The 12 x 12’, the first paragraph of page 66 and all of page 67. Pick a defect of character that seems to be troubling you such as a resentment or jealousy of a person, place, or thing, or perhaps pride or procrastination. Ask yourself if you are entirely ready to give it up. If you are, then it is time to take Step Seven. If you are not ready, make a list of the reasons why you would like to give it up. Then make a list of the reasons why you still want to keep that defect. What are the pay-offs for giving the defect up? What are the pay-offs for keeping it? Now, ask God to help you to be willing to give this character defect up.

Lust.  What does it mean to give it up.

It is a crutch, a habit; sexualised anxiety.

I am ready to give up the sexualised apprehension of another human being.  I will look at them with whole, loving eyes.  Acknowledging beauty but not craving it.  Leaving the energy there where I found it.

Help me god to give it up.

5. What does the concept of "patient improvement" page 65 in the AA ‘12 x 12’ mean to you as stated in Step Six?

Here Bill is explicitly talking about those other "problems" that are left even when the "desire to drink" has left us.  The desire to drink WAS lifted from me, but these other problems are deeper, stronger, and require continuous change in ourselves to overcome.  I kind of see these as some kind of strange food pyramid, with substance abuse at the bottom, sex and love in the middle, and food at the top.  My final frontier will be food.

6. Make a list of your "No, I can't give this up yet" items. Refer to the seven deadly sins page 48 in the AA ‘12 x 12’. Why is it necessary to make a beginning and keep trying?

7. Explain the concept as it relates to you: "Delay is dangerous and rebellion may be fatal."

I see this as related to the step that no forward progress is actually backsliding.  You must be experiencing spiritual growth to keep pace with your disease, as it will figure out your last set of spiritual defences before too many days go by.

8. List the character defects you really enjoy that "masquerade" as something other than they are. Now make a list of your positive character assets. Check and see if any "positives" are really "masquerading" negatives. Write on what this question has meant to you.

I might just invert this answer: clearly this question is about self-awareness and denial...

Also I believe that there are no real "defects" - just shadow aspects of our good qualities: the attention-to-detail person has a shadow side of micromanagement - the "big picture" thinker misses the small stuff.  Someone who cherishes beauty might overdue it and become a compulsive collector...

The character defects I enjoy most are sloth gluttony and lust.  Gluttony masquerades as being a "foodie", Sloth can manifest as being indecisive and getting nothing done,  lust can manifest as a loving sex life with my wife when really i just want to get laid.

My positive assets: 

Creativity

Light-heartedness